Monster
by Awesome Anonymous
Summary: Commander Shepard: tall, handsome, and a blue-eyed heartache. Tali's idea of a perfect man, but is he? ‹Shepard x Tali›


_First Mass Effect fic. I feel amazing :]_

_This is a little long, but I think I did a good job keeping it on its toes :D_

_[Lame, I know.]_

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He was so charming.

Commander Shepard: tall, handsome, and a blue-eyed gentleman. He was attractive and, much to her liking, attracted to her. Well, the books Tali read on human body language and flirting would probably agree with her accusation. The way he talked, joked, and smiled at her. She wasn't being dramatic! It was blatantly obvious. She felt it and he had to too — the _attraction_.

He was so nice.

He was incredible with the way he stuck up for individuals, especially aliens. She hasn't been on many missions with him, but when she was she could see they saw eye to eye on many things.

Tali never understood why some looked at him the way they did, or the way they would react towards him. The only thing that did make him furious even the slightest was the red scarring forming increasingly on his face. But after intense dedication, he was able to get the operation done with the found minerals. She noticed when she talked to him afterwards he was less irritated. She still can't believe he spent those minerals on the procedure instead of a ship upgrade.

He was...too good. Too perfect.

She loved when he came down to talk to her. It made her happy. By the looks on his face, it made him happy as well. The best thing: having company who enjoyed yours — worst thing _ever_: realizing your company was just as good or not as good as someone else's.

She had eyes, and the helmet didn't blur her vision. He had to make stops on the way to the engine room.

Watching the way he and Miss Lawson exchanged their words — it was...unsettling. She wasn't being paranoid! It was blatantly obvious. Everyone saw what she saw — the attraction!

"What?" Garrus stopped ignoring her for the first time.

Tali sighed after realizing he wasn't paying attention. He was lucky she had no one else to talk to.

"I—ugh..."

She looked away and tried to hide her face, so to speak. Garrus noticed the Commander and Miranda exiting her office together. He shook his head at Shepard for making that wench smile.

Tali veered up slowly, frowning at them going towards the elevator. "Oh, Keela..."

Garrus scowled in agreement but noticed Tali slumping greatly. It wasn't that serious, so he figured they weren't on the same page.

"You think the Commander...and Miranda are—"

"It's obvious they are, Garrus." It came out as a sigh. He was an idiot.

But when she saw him shake his head, she wanted to believe he was a genius.

"He's just giving Cerberus lip service," he said. "He doesn't even like her."

He sounded so sure, so she believed him.

She was paranoid.

Shepard only visited Miranda so much because of mission reports — Tali wasn't sure they had that many missions.

But he was way too perfect. Too good.

He only _talked_ to her, nothing more. Though the books Tali has read suggested their body language and flirting geared towards an — oh, what the hell do books know about this situation.

He was too good to be true.

Instead of wallowing in misery, she decided to confront him directly. This was the adult thing to do, and he wouldn't lie to her face.

He cocked an eyebrow, folded his arms and leaned backwards. She was confused and became nervous.

"Wha...what?"

"You think...Miranda and I are...together?" He looked as if he wanted to scoff.

"Well, yes." Oh my. The way he was looking at her was making her feel like an ass.

"Why would you think that?"

"Well... You're always together and, um, I just assumed—"

"She's my _second-in-command_, and she does the mission reports."

He sounded especially annoyed of Miranda. It made sense, seeing as she worked for a bigoted corporation and put on airs.

"Besides, Tali, I thought we..."

She jumped back at what he was alluding to. "Oh! I—Well, we are! If you want to be, I mean."

Shepard furrowed his brow and gave her a narrow-eyed stare. Oh no. She ruined this, didn't she? Paranoia and lack of knowledge of human attraction ruined everything. She was stuck, and sighed loudly.

"I'm sorry, Shepard."

And when his disappointed face showed a smirk as he openly accepted her apology, she felt something in her calm her down. She...was going crazy. These suspicions were driving her nuts. She just had to tell herself to trust him. It shouldn't be this hard!

Tali convinced herself she was insane. Shepard was hers, in a matter of speaking. He was charming, nice, perfect, and hers.

Kelly was a great yeoman, but sometimes Tali knew Shepard never got her messages relayed clearly. She didn't even think the Commander wanted an assistant, and that's why Kelly's memos were ignored.

"The Commander?" Jacob shrugged. "He's probably with Miranda."

Tali gave him a weird look when he scoffed and went back to dallying on the workbench. Nevertheless, she left without hesitation. She had no time to...brood over her _glorious_ romantic life. And usually she would never seek Shepard out like this, but she needed to get home for the stupid accusation being thrown at her by the Fleet. She knew he would help her out, or hoped he would.

What made this situation worst is that she had to go into Miranda's office. She _hated_ Miranda. And much more than she used to. Tali figured the only reason Miranda would ever throw herself at the Commander was that he was involved with a quarian — she was a bigot at heart, truly.

And there she was, throwing herself at the one and only Commander Shepard. Tali may not be the brightest when it came to intimacy, but she could tell when two people are about to share a kiss. If breath had a color, Tali would be able to see it hit the whore's lips. That was truly a fascinating notion!

This is exactly why she didn't want to look for him.

He was too charming, too nice, too perfect, and two-woman's man — right? Or was she being paranoid?

Shepard breathed out a laugh and moved his hands from his officer's arms. Miranda crossed hers and gave Tali an evil glare, which she didn't see. Her eyes were focused on the man walking towards her.

Shepard sighed thoughtlessly. "Did you want to speak to me?"

This was a joke.

"Shepard..."

He looked at the door to the office closing behind him. "What is it?"

A very not-funny joke.

She, in better terms, snapped. He backed up when she did.

"Shepard, how could you!"

If she wasn't so angry, she may have smiled at his startled face. Also the way he displayed embarrassing anger when he frowned at the crewmen looking at them.

"I'll talk to you later." He was livid. That even came out as a whisper, a seething one. She pouted when he walked away.

That was it? Pathetic.

He was _pathetic_.

"Tali."

She should have ignored him, continued to pretend to enhance the drive core. But she turned his way, and he still looked angry. Mr. Nice Guy: _poof_. After folding his arms, he spoke with irritation.

"It was nothing, Tali. Really."

She was even more pathetic than he was. Now: two pathetic people, back together.

She ignored him and Miranda. He had to talk to her and that was clear. But it had gotten to the point where she found herself out of the engine room more frequently and spent far too much time on level three. Really, she couldn't be more obvious in her distrust with Shepard. He didn't notice...well, didn't care. At least that what it seemed like.

Visits to Lawson's office were...too frequent. As nearly as much as she would spy..._come_ to the third floor. It was insane — taking her out of her element. It was to the point where she almost couldn't tolerate Miranda's presence. The helmet was the beautifully engineered officer's saving grace when it came to Tali's glares.

Now it was just the two of them, in the elevator on the third level, both heading _up_. Where could she possibly be going? There's only the CIC, and Shepard's cabin.

This elevator was taking forever.

She was going to the CIC on the second deck — had to be.

Please let it be the second deck. Tali didn't know what to do if Miranda was heading up to the Commander's room. That's where she was going.

She could just get off on deck two; the easiest way of admitting defeat. _Defeat_. Wow, that sounded rather refreshing compared to this fear.

Tali's heart sank when Miranda actually did get off at the CIC. How _settling_. She was looking forward to giving up. _Mmm_, giving up: heartache free with cherries on top.

"Tali." He smiled at her when she entered his room, and assumed she was smiling. Wasn't even close.

She would give up _this_? So charming, so nice — too perfect, way too good.

Commander Shepard: tall, handsome, and a blue-eyed monster.

That was immature, and a nice way of calling him a wolf. And being an adult is overrated.

"Do you have a moment?" he asked.

She came up here, didn't she?

"Well, I do have some work that needs to be done..."

His eyes slightly widened before he shrugged. "I'll talk to you later, then."

She lied. It felt pretty damn good from the other side too. Maybe this is what it is to be honestly mature: to lie, and it actually working.

Every damn time.

He at least respects her working. Probably because he knows she's fascinated with engines. However, this fascination has been getting more attention than her much-loved Commander has. She assumed he was finding attention elsewhere. She wouldn't know; she kept to herself in the engine room.

"Tali."

She withheld a sigh. This was getting old.

She turned towards him just as bubbly as she used to. "Shepard?"

"Do you have a moment to talk?"

"Actually, I have some work that needs finishing. Can we talk later?"

He nodded. "I'll let you get back to work."

"Okay. Talk to you later."

Really? He had to be dense. They went through this nearly twice a day. She was always busy and never gave him time. That was harsh, but true. She gave up, and it felt extremely exhilarating. Though, he usually didn't get comfortable on the wall next to her.

She stopped doing her pretend work and turned his way. This was not supposed to happen. "Shepard?"

He folded his arms and shrugged. "I'll wait."

He didn't have to do that long. Those evil stares grew heavy when he actually saw she didn't have much to do. After enough of the awkward silence, she turned to him. Maybe if they didn't have anything to talk about — it didn't matter. He walked off tempered. Was he was hurt? Maybe not. She felt bad and exhaled exhaustedly.

Where was this going? Just from happy to sad, relieved to more pain. That was just one-way, but this ugly outcome was going both ways. He continued to pull those lingering stunts to the point where they started talking like usual.

He seemed relieved — she was too.

Tali couldn't help but shadow him again. _Damn it all_.

She didn't normally sit in the mess hall with the rest of the crewmen. On the other hand, it was right next to Miranda's office. It was easy to stare a couple of people down with this suit, and that was all she did: just watch the Commander walk out the office and Miss Lawson following. He, for the first time, saw the quarian across the room sitting there helplessly. That helmet prevented anyone else from seeing their eye contact but it was still there. He whipped around and almost made Miranda bump into him.

"I'll speak to you later, Miranda," he said tersely.

Her expression showed shock, but she nodded hesitantly. "Yes, Commander."

She walked back into her office and Shepard watched with a stern look prior to leaving.

Not before glancing across the room to make sure his actions were noted.

Miranda had to realize he only visited her when they really had a mission now. Or how when she even got too close to him he would create distance and showed frustration. He was visiting the engine room way too many times than necessary. Tali had to agree; Shepard was visiting the forth deck pretty excessively. But she couldn't complain. He was charming, nice, and too perfect. He submitted, and it felt wonderful to know she wasn't worth losing.

Commander Shepard: tall, handsome, and a blue-eyed heartache.

Perfect.

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